I am somewhat consoled by the fact that he is benefiting from my loss. I think it is easy for a woman to view her husband as one who exists to make her life better. It is much harder for her to do what's best for him, and to help him serve the Lord to the best of his abilities.
Charles Ray tells a story in The Life of Susannah Spurgeon, a little bio included in Free Grace and Dying Love: Morning Devotions by Susannah Spurgeon, where Susannah is having a hard time letting go of her husband. She was married to the famous 19th century baptist preacher, Charles Spurgeon, and he was often away preaching. The story goes like this.
Once and once only she broke down, when her dear one was about to leave in the early morning for a distant mission, and the tears could not be kept back. 'Wifey,' said her husband, 'do you think that when any of the children of Israel brought a lamb to the Lord's altar as an offering to him they stood and wept over it when they had seen it laid there?' and when she replied in the negative he added, tenderly, 'Well, don't you see, you are giving me to God in letting me go to preach the gospel to poor sinners, and do you think he likes to see you cry over your sacrifice?'A woman does not have to be married to a preacher to apply this principle. A man who is working any job to provide for his family is serving the Lord, and his wife needs to help him to do it well.
'Could ever a rebuke have been more sweetly and graciously given?' says Mrs Spugeon. "It sank deep into my heart, carrying comfort with it and thence-forward when I parted with him, the tears were scarcely ever allowed to show themselves, or if a stray one or two dared to run over the boundaries he would say, "What! crying over your lamb, wifey?" and this reminder would quickly dry them up, and bring a smile in their place.' (p. 158-159)
I suppose letting go of our beloved is a way we can deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow Jesus (Matt. 16:24). However I don't see it as some dreadful stoic duty of a wife. The next part of the verse says, "For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."
And this promise is what I cling to.